


Stubborn Love

by lionheartress



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Oblivious Derek, Oblivious Stiles, Song fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-18 13:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1430596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionheartress/pseuds/lionheartress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Derek are both kind of obliviously pining over the other.</p><p>Will they finally manage to find their way to each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stiles is only human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles wants to be there for Derek but it's hard.

Stiles didn’t know what to do anymore.  
For weeks now, he hadn’t been able to get his mind off of Derek Hale.  
Sure, at first he hadn’t exactly liked the mysterious werewolf who showed up when he wanted to and disappeared just as fast, who’d spend most of his time brooding in a corner, kind of condescending them all and, yes, who scared the living shit out of him.  
But things had changed between them, everything had changed. What began as a simple little crush – because hello?? Have you looked at this ridiculously attractive guy? – had become something deeper on Stiles’ part.

_I can hold my breath_  
 _I can bite my tongue_  
 _I can stay awake for days_  
 _If that's what you want_  
 _Be your number one_

He _cared_ for Derek, he wanted to hold him, to comfort him, to reassure him that everything would be alright.  
If there was one person who could need a little genuine support, it was Derek.  
Stiles didn’t even want to imagine what his friend had been forced to go through since they met, hell, even before that. Being betrayed by Kate, losing almost his whole family, finding out that his uncle killed his sister, having to kill his uncle only to have him come back later, the whole disaster with Jennifer/Julia/whatever she likes to call herself – the list was endless and Stiles couldn’t really comprehend how Derek was able to get up every morning and still be a reasonably decent guy (well, most of the time at least) and save their collective asses on more than one occasion.  
It was truly incredible.  
But in Stiles’ eyes, the one thing that definitely was on top of the awful-things-to-happen-to-Derek-Hale-list was what the Alpha pack forced him to do to Boyd.

_I can hold the weight of worlds_  
 _If that's what you need_  
 _Be your everything_

He could still feel his heart breaking over the way Derek had looked then, kneeling in his wet loft next to Boyd’s body, he could still feel the pain that seemed to radiate from Derek in waves, and he recalled with perfect clarity the sudden onslaught of emotions that came over him then – the urgent need to kill everyone who was responsible for making his friend look like that, the fierce protectiveness, the desire to have a werewolf’s power of taking away pain (of the emotional variety though), and the horrible desperation that came with the realization that Derek would _never_ let him get close enough to help him get through this, that he blamed himself for everything and that there was nothing he could do except go to his side and put his hand on Derek’s shoulder, in the faint hope that this small gesture would convey everything he couldn’t say.

_But I'm only human_  
 _And I bleed when I fall down_  
 _I'm only human_  
 _And I crash and I break down_  
 _Your words in my head, knives in my heart_  
 _You build me up and then I fall apart_  
 _'Cause I'm only human_

Not that it had stopped him from hoping to shelter Derek from everything – as ridiculous as it sounds, a mere human protecting a werewolf, but he didn't care.  
After what felt like an eternity, Derek had finally pushed himself up and started to walk away sluggishly. Worried, Stiles had scrambled after him, trying to keep him steady.  
At first, Derek had simply ignored everything Stiles said to him in those moments, he seemed like he was only physically present, but suddenly he had snarled at Stiles to go the fuck away, to just leave him alone, and what he even thought he was doing there, as if he had any idea what it felt like and so on and so forth, until Stiles had just been standing there in stunned silence. Because Derek was right – he had no idea what was going on in the werewolf's mind. But before Stiles had a chance to say anything else (even though the words seemed to be stuck in his throat), Derek had stormed away, propelled by his fury at himself and the Alphas and probably Stiles and everyone else, leaving Stiles alone to mull over what the fuck just happened and what he could’ve done differently to help Derek instead of upsetting him further in this horrible situation.

For the rest of that night, Stiles’ thoughts had been running in circles, he kept reliving the time at the loft over and over again, torn between pity and anger and frustration. He still wanted to help Derek, but he felt like he had definitely messed up, like he couldn’t help anyway, that no matter how he tried, he could never reach his friend.

It has now been a few weeks since this awful day, and although Stiles didn’t _think_ that Derek was still mad at him, it could very well just be wishful thinking, because they hadn’t really seen each other in the meantime and the only thing he knew for sure was that he didn’t blame Derek for pushing him away, he just wanted to find a way to make it all okay.

He could at least keep on trying to be there for Derek, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is "Human" by Christina Perri


	2. Derek has a dark side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek actually really wants Stiles but he's afraid to let him close.

One of these days, Derek’s gonna lose his mind.  
In the past few weeks, he hasn’t spoken to anyone, basically just running around the woods and trying not to think or feel or remember.  
It doesn’t work, though.  
That horrible day is playing on a constant loop in his mind, no matter how hard he tries to shut it out.  
The proof of his failure.

_There's a place that I know  
It's not pretty there and few have ever gone_

And even if he manages to think about something different for a short time – it doesn’t really get any better.  
Too many awful memories swirling through his head, everything he ever fucked up in his life – which is, basically, well, everything he ever tried.  
But the one thing that pains him most is the way he ended things with Stiles. Every fucking time he closes his eyes, he can see the boy’s devastated look when Derek snarled at him, letting out all his hurt and desperation and fury and self-hatred, pushing him away. Because that’s the only thing he knows how to do, after having his heart crushed so effectively by Paige and Kate and everything else. Even if he wants nothing more than to let Stiles comfort him. He can’t remember the last time he felt this good in someone’s presence.  
But of course it’s all an illusion, a trick.  
As soon as Stiles sees the _real_ him, he’s gonna run screaming. It can’t be any other way.

_If I show it to you now_  
 _Will it make you run away_  
 _Or will you stay_  
 _Even if it hurts_  
 _Even if I try to push you out_

He himself doesn’t even know how to deal with his crap, how can he expect someone else to do it?  
But oh how he wants him to.

During the last few days, Derek could slowly feel his resolve crumble.  
He’s just so damn fucking tired of always running and hiding.  
Right after Stiles’ devastated face, he remembers the way the boy touched his shoulder – gentle and kind and comforting, but also surprisingly strong.  
Maybe it’s not too late.  
Maybe he can go to Stiles and – and what?

_Will you return?_  
 _And remind me who I really am_  
 _Please remind me who I really am_

Tell him he’s sorry? Try to explain? How on earth should Derek do this? He can’t even make sense to himself, how is this supposed to work?

And again he’s running through the woods, faster, faster, always faster – but he can’t leave the thoughts behind.

_Everybody's got a dark side_  
 _Do you love me?_  
 _Can you love mine?_  
 _Nobody's a picture perfect_  
 _But we're worth it_  
 _You know that we're worth it_

Stiles may look skinny and fragile and defenseless – but he’s stronger than that, isn’t he?  
He witnessed his best friend getting turned into a werewolf, but instead of running away, he actually stayed and supported Scott and gave his best to help him – even when there was the possibility that Scott killed someone.  
True, Scott never killed anyone and Derek did. But if he was being honest to himself, Stiles had never seemed fazed by that fact.  
Derek just tended to ignore things like this because that made it easier to hate himself.  
But maybe there was hope.  
Maybe he could dare to let Stiles close.  
Deep in his heart, he’d always known that Kate was a cold-hearted bitch.  
But Stiles was different.  
Always goofy and silly and sarcastic, yes, but once you got him to be serious, he was actually a pretty good guy – probably better than Derek. But then again, who wasn’t?

_Will you love me?  
Even with my dark side?_

Without remembering to take the decision to change his direction, Derek suddenly realized he was running back – back to town, to his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is "Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson


End file.
